Re-visting Type- Function Use, Am I still a NiFe? :)

sitbone, thanks buddy. My question is, how does one get into Se? Its funny because I thought for SURE I was showing Se, and from what you say its not so much. I do resonate with the INF temp more than INT, for the most part, so I do question if I'm really a NiFe-Ti...A NiFe-Ni would make more sense to me. I too really hope he's compatible to our Beta household, lolz, I hadn't thought about it so thanks for adding a new concern to my plate

I don't have much to say about type, except that subtype seems malleable, and our first function is really our unchanging core. I wholeheartedly agree with your approach. We are not owners of our children but servants and mentors to them, cheering and providing for them. 

Sometimes I recognize a bit of narcissism in myself and want a degree of ownership over them in the future, but I recognize what it is (deep abandonment issues). I've seen too many narcissistic mothers fill their own voids with their children rather then fill their children from the abundance of their own cup. Your recognizing this makes you the ultimate mother figure.

So sorry about your friend's hurtful comment. You can never judge how somehow will be as a parent because it's such a time of growth and a process of constant humbling. Each parent brings strengths and blindnesses to the table. It took time to get to this point, but I look at my shortcomings as an opportunity for my children to develop their own strengths, just as we overcame our parents' weaknesses and each successive generation has always done. Strength demands struggle. I like to think I model humility and strength to my children.

This is my favorite poem about the sacrifice of parenthood and our reality as archers who use their whole strength to steady the bow but then must let the arrow fly. You have something unique to offer that nobody else does. I think your friend may not be at this place of truth yet.


On Children

- Kahlil Gibran



Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.



You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.



You are the bows from which your children

as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might

that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Thank you. That poem stabbed me in the gut the first time I read it!

I'm happy for you and your husband. It's always nice to see good people becoming parents. <3