I have a reason of why I think I am a bad businnessman:
I CANNOT LIE!
Even if I try to do that, I get caught very quickly. Either because of something that I couldn't think of, or simply because my uncontrolable face expressions sold me out. I simply have no natural ability to do that. And how is that a problem. Well here how it is:
The businness people around me are all liars, cheaters and dishonest people. They get ahead pretty quickly. It works. Whereas people like me are trying to do the right thing and eventually end up with nothing. Which is bad.
Now lets look at the other side of medallion. Who else tries to do the right thing like I do? Very few people. And even if you find some people who on surface want to do the right thing, they will not live up to their standard to go as far as necessary to do whatit takes. So basically speaking this way doesnt work. And since it is my way, then I dont work either.
Since I pretty much cannot do anything to change that condition, I am a bad businnessperson. And if it keeps going like that, then I am also a loser.
You don't have to lie in order to be a good businessman, but you don't have to tell the whole truth either (many use this tactic). Some people see that as lying, but I disagree, since it doesn't make sense. There are a lot of things that I keep to myself but it does not equal "lying". If you can't be successful without having to lie, then you're probably not a very good businessman. It takes practice to be good at it, which I think you need. Self-confidence and a good attitude is also very important since you want to be as convincing as possible. I think it's a good thing that you're trying to be genuine and you can be that and still have success. You just need to find the right tactic.
Well, i think you say lies like everyone, sincerity/honesty is different that "not lying", in my opinion But i have to say: it's a quality. I have the same problem, even if i try, i feel a bad sensation inside me, i can't control it, is simply the way i am. In the life of a person, sooner or later, the time to decide what to do with your life comes (and returns, again and again, in the future), and when you can't act like a selfish, even trying, you know you're a good person. Honesty is a rare quality, it's a shame to waste it.
Doesn't sound like you're a bad businessman at all, just that there's a mismatch between your industry and your ideals; your self-confidence has taken a hit as a result. Finding an industry more supportive of your values may help you to realize those ideals--and also, the potentials within others for altruism, which will help heal your cynicism.
Outright lying is certainly not a a requirement for successful business, and of course there are different degrees and types of lying. Perhaps considering the value you place on types of lying would give you better perspective regarding where you fit in and where you're most needed.
Working the casinos in a Vegas like atmosphere does not sound right for you, but there are places in society for people whose greatest strength is speaking the truth as they see it and following their own path of righteousness.
Last Edit: May 20, 2013 6:27:24 GMT -5 by starlit7
I think it's easier said that done. You see, I have this impulsive tendency to argue everything and anything that I see happening around me. I don't know if this is a bad thing or a good thing. But it works like this "What? What this person did just say? Okay wait, I have to keep my mouth shut otherwise things will get out of control". 5 seconds later "What? Again? Okkay I should keep my mouth shut". 5 seconds later "Okay thats enough...Here I come". It's like a bull whose eyes are filled with blood. It's only a matter of time before this tendency takes over my mind (and takes it over completely) and then...well we all know whats then.
I do try to not tell people what is what...but it only takes a few well placed arguments to blew me up.
Easier said than done, yes. Completely agree. What would you say is the nature of your impulse to argue?
Learning.
My impulse is for learning. I am quite limited in my true abilities. What I mean is this: I can do much more. It's not just a feeling. It's a fact. I have seen myself on practice. Therefore I know what I say.
Since my capacity is undermined (not utilized), I feel great amount of emptiness in my mind. Great hunger. By engaging in verbal debate with people, I try to put facts in front of people and see how they react. And by their reaction I can know how the person is different from me. If I see something new or interesting, then I put more facts in front of them and wait and see how they react to it. It's a learning process. And I live for learning. Always pursuing the bigger picture. My life is worthwhile when I move towards that goal. Because...there is no greater goal. I will find peace when I die. But while I live, I will honor the life with all my abilities. Because thats what means to be alive. If we don't do that, then we are as good as dead anyway. Dead people don't need any new knowledge. It doesn't benefit them. Nor expand their understanding of life. They don't need that. Living beings do. And if living beings don't do that, then they are as good as dead anyway. Their time has no meaning. It's clicking backwards until comes to zero. It doesn't matter if they have 10 years to live, or 10 seconds to live. The only difference between those two are numbers. Because different numbers do not correspond to different events. They all are same. Just like dead people. Time has no meaning for them. There is no difference between 10 years or 10 seconds. There is no difference in events.
Therefore, there is no greater goal in this life than seeking the bigger picture and trying to understand this life as much as you can. I don't know if are going to live after death or whether it is an ultimate end. But I know this. If we are alive, then lets do what we can with this life in the best way we can. Whatever happens after death...well there is no rush and nobody escapes it. Then, this life that we have...is the most valuable thing we have. We should do the best of it we can. Werther with our personal effort. Or group effort. Whatever works. As long as we strive towards that goal, then our life has meaning. After all, we did our best. And that is the only thing we can do. We cant look back and say "We missed this and missed that". If we were so smart enough to see it before, then we would already do that. We did our best. Look at the future. Not past. Past is past. Future is created now. And nobody know whats actual future looks like. Then again, our only chance is to do the best we can. Very few things can be done individually. Hell, maybe the amount of things that can be done individually is negligible when compared to what we can do as a group. And don't think that a group is just bunch of people. By a group we could even mean the entire humanity. After all, every person is a resource. Mental resource. And that mental resource is what makes our lives more meaningful. Because each mind will add something that you cannot. (if you could, you already would, since you don't, then you need others)
Unfortunately the world doesn't work in that wavelength. Or at least this is not what I have seen so far. It's a sad place. And it forces me to engage in debate with people in the hopes that I can glean some information about my surrounding and make my life more meaningful however small effort that may be (compared to what I can). Apparently, that is also happens to be the best thing that I can do.
Yes, that should answer your question.
Last Edit: May 20, 2013 12:08:31 GMT -5 by Deleted
Listening....it's like debating, without the thrill of always being right. I can only tell you that it--mostly--works for me, but that I'm a recovering debate addict. I'm a sucker for topics that lead to most people getting ultimately besides themselves or revealing their darker natures. But- this need that I had--for revealation in this manner-was easily toned down when I realized that zeroing in on people with weapons of linguistic destruction and ((TRUTH)) was undermining my ultimate objectives, and even my own ideals. Which is not to say that I don't enjoy an intellectual throwdown, but that I figured out how to make it work in a way that's more constructive and in service of those things that matter most.
Why is the best thing that you can do(currently), the best that you can do?
Last Edit: May 20, 2013 13:11:12 GMT -5 by starlit7
Listening....it's like debating, without the thrill of always being right. I can only tell you that it--mostly--works for me, but that I'm a recovering debate addict. I'm a sucker for topics that lead to most people getting ultimately besides themselves or revealing their darker natures. But- this need that I had--for revealation in this manner-was easily toned down when I realized that zeroing in on people with weapons of linguistic destruction and ((TRUTH)) was undermining my ultimate objectives, and even my own ideals. Which is not to say that I don't enjoy an intellectual throwdown, but that I figured out how to make it work in a way that's more constructive and in service of those things that matter most.
Fine...I will listen. Soon we shall both see where this leads.
Why is the best thing that you can do(currently), the best that you can do?
Because the conditions I am under do not allow me to do it any better. For example, for my last 4 years I have spent to build myself a house. 4 years is too long time for such endeavor. I could do this much quicker if I had a business of my own. As you can see, I spend more time for the same result. Doing something else is better than what I do now. And the only reason why am I not doing something else is because I am not living among people who are capable of thinking otherwise. This creates the difference between what I can do best and what I do now.
Last Edit: May 20, 2013 15:32:36 GMT -5 by Deleted
Hi MV! It seems to me that your tendency to impulsively argue is teaching something to you, something that your are learning about yourself. Life seems to be giving you the hints. There's a differentce between 'being earnest' and 'throwing truths at people' carelesslly, uncounsciously of your strong impact on people in your professional life. It seems to me that the point is not 'not being able to lie', but having a modus-operandi that repeatedly carries you into a certain type of situation... ironically, in situations like that, you are not being self-possessed (the assumption "I can't lie. I am honest" can be a defense that works against you, instead of protecting you) but losing yourself and the beautiful clean successful oportunities that seeing all the beautiful colors and shades of gray in interpersonal dymanics can bring to you. Getting in touch with the vulnerable, sensitive, tactful, emotional, 'not-blunt-black-or-white-no-shades-of-gray-color-mindblowing-feeling-spectrum' aspects of yourself is part of your growing path. It is all inside you getting ready to flourish. It is good that you trust us to open up: this is true strength and power. I am here wishing all the best in your personal and professional journey.
Last Edit: May 20, 2013 21:14:21 GMT -5 by Deleted
Hi MV! It seems to me that your tendency to impulsively argue is teaching something to you, something that your are learning about yourself. Life seems to be giving you the hints. There's a differentce between 'being earnest' and 'throwing truths at people' carelesslly, uncounsciously of your strong impact on people in your professional life. It seems to me that the point is not 'not being able to lie', but having a modus-operandi that repeatedly carries you into a certain type of situation... ironically, in situations like that, you are not being self-possessed (the assumption "I can't lie. I am honest" can be a defense that works against you, instead of protecting you) but losing yourself and the beautiful clean successful oportunities that seeing all the beautiful colors and shades of gray in interpersonal dymanics can bring to you. Getting in touch with the vulnerable, sensitive, tactful, emotional, 'not-blunt-black-or-white-no-shades-of-gray-color-mindblowing-feeling-spectrum' aspects of yourself is part of your growing path. It is all inside you getting ready to flourish. It is good that you trust us to open up: this is true strength and power. I am here wishing all the best in your personal and professional journey.
This is a very good explanation Morsecode.
A type of explaination that I do not see a feasible solution for antime soon. You are right. I might be protecting something that I have no control over. And you identified it correctly. I have zero connection with "not-blunt-black-or-white-no-shades-of-gray-color-mindblowing-feeling-spectrum" side of society that I am living in right now. Things for me in that direction are quite plain. It's either black or white. High or low. And since it too fuzzy to deal with, I deny my whole relation to it completely. Apparently denying it or not knowing it has severe consequences. Being a good business man is one of them. I dont think I am going to solve this here. And even if I wanted to fix it here, I wouldn't know how.
No wait. I know how. And no, I am not going that way.
I think my problem is this: "It sucks to be on the receiving end".
I was talking to my dad about new medical machine that will provide me a good amount of income...probably for a very very long time.
Now that I can see that dad contacted questionable people that offer questionable medical device, I have come to another dilemma of my own.
1) Should I close my eyes on the questionable side of the issue and pretend that nothing is wrong and continue with my business.
2) Or should I inform people about my concerns and ask them to take away that responsibility from me? And in that case, risk the whole business future?
You see, if I choose the second optional it would be the right thing to do. But then, I risk dooming my future for many years to come. If I choose first option, I will probably have a good chance for income, but during my course in business, I may encounter with questionable situations that I wont be able to explain. And people will depend on my explanation. How can I let people trust me if I cannot trust to the device myself in the first place?
I usually choice the second option and that why my life is a total mess. Am I stupid? Perhaps I am.
The reason why my own preferred method doesn't work, is because doing the right thing is much harder than other routes. Accomplishing it in individually is futile attempt. And since people find my approach to cooperation as laughable and inferior, my method simply doesn't practically work.
If I am not a loser, what else am I now?
Last Edit: May 23, 2013 16:00:29 GMT -5 by Deleted
It's really what you think is better. #1 is not necessarily lying, it's simply not giving a full explanation. There are many ways to look at the situation... If you think that being nice to people and telling them that there are risks involved is truly the right and better thing to do, then feel free to do it. You could justify #1 by arguing that you don't care about people who don't do the research or know the risks of things. Do you legally have to give a disclaimer? You could just try to tell yourself that it's not bad to not give a disclaimer.
Whichever one makes you feel better really... Would you rather have money or feel like a good person? Of course there are alternatives, like finding another job that gives you good money and doesn't involve being a "bad person". On the other hand, you could justify #1 so that you're not really being a "bad person" . It's really subjective and I don't know if I'm really getting my point across here or if I'm just throwing around words.
It's really 100% your choice and opinion. I think that you should take all the factors into account and weigh your options.
I have no legal responsibility in that. That person trusts my judgment. Thy why he works with me. If I to take advantage, then I may lose that person someday. If I to tell the truth, I will lose it now and possibly have a future for something else. If I to take advantage, then I may lose that person forever. You may say there are other people out there. It's just too complex.
I think its much simpler to deal with right people in right business. Cant seem to find such people much either. It's quite messed up.
By everyone being "right" you mean everyone being right in the perception everyone? By that meaning, we'd either all be extremely open minded (probably for the worse, like to a point where we would not be able to make judgements) or we'd be the same. If we were all the same there would be no contrast, everything would be 100% predictable, and life would just be boring in general.
Can't say I'm really sure about what you mean by "right", though.