Looking For Guidance Regarding TeNi Daughter
Nov 9, 2016 13:48:17 GMT -5 by Amsterdam
Auburn and cievedis like this
Post by Amsterdam on Nov 9, 2016 13:48:17 GMT -5
Hoping to get some guidance on parenting our soon-to-be adopted TeNi 11 year-old daughter - I would especially be interested in responses from female TeNi, but of course all forum members are absolutely welcome to engage! [At a glance through the Gamma section, I know of the following TeNis: MsLajlaa , kaleshnikov , mv2 , kookiplopz - however, feel free to tag any that I missed]
A bit of context to help, then I'll list some initial questions afterwards.
My soon-to-be daughter has been in foster care for two years now, but was not the victim in her foster case (one of her siblings was but they were all removed from the home for safety). She is very intelligent, can pick up on things quickly and is getting straight As in 6th grade. She is very obviously a TeNi with a somewhat developed Fi, but lingers most in Te and somewhat Ni (she fits best under the "Fervent Eccentric" subtype). In a brief discussion about her CT, she was curious and understood the basics, ultimately claiming as her 'life motto': "Logic is everything - Feelings should be kept inside and stuffed down." I love her TeNi-ness, she is an exciting girl!
Now, some questions:
I think that's it for now. Ultimately, we are just trying to be the best parents possible and help our daughter bloom into all she is meant to be, so your thoughts are greatly appreciated. Hopefully this thread will also spur discussion around pre-adolescent CT development and the like
[Forum admins: if this belongs in the Gamma section or elsewhere, feel free to move it there - wasn't quite sure where to post it]
A bit of context to help, then I'll list some initial questions afterwards.
My soon-to-be daughter has been in foster care for two years now, but was not the victim in her foster case (one of her siblings was but they were all removed from the home for safety). She is very intelligent, can pick up on things quickly and is getting straight As in 6th grade. She is very obviously a TeNi with a somewhat developed Fi, but lingers most in Te and somewhat Ni (she fits best under the "Fervent Eccentric" subtype). In a brief discussion about her CT, she was curious and understood the basics, ultimately claiming as her 'life motto': "Logic is everything - Feelings should be kept inside and stuffed down." I love her TeNi-ness, she is an exciting girl!
Now, some questions:
- As an 11 year-old TeNi, what do you remember life being like? How about your inner experience and your experience with relationships with both genders?
- If you could go back in time and talk to your 11 year-old self, what things would you say, what advice would you give?
- What are some things you wish your parents/caregivers, teachers, coaches, etc. would have done differently in raising you? What did they do well that really helped you? What do you wish they would have focused on, not focused on?
- She struggles with the following: 1) Instantly argumentative if we bring up and discipline her for having unkind/unloving words/actions/attitudes - she shuts down quickly and will attempt to direct the conversation elsewhere or as Sandoval expressed: "what results is a headstrong psychology that’s predisposed to drown out opposition with an avalanche of rhetoric"; 2) An "all-or-nothing" approach to life, i.e. if she does poorly on a test, the world is ending, if we discipline her for something she goes to the extreme of saying, for instance, "Fine, I'll just never talk again"; 3) Lying by both omission and exaggeration, usually to avoid getting in trouble or to manipulate circumstances in her favor. [NOTE: I realize these may be common behaviors in children at this age, but I'm looking for perspectives on how being TeNi may affect it and how we can help a TeNi through them]
I think that's it for now. Ultimately, we are just trying to be the best parents possible and help our daughter bloom into all she is meant to be, so your thoughts are greatly appreciated. Hopefully this thread will also spur discussion around pre-adolescent CT development and the like
[Forum admins: if this belongs in the Gamma section or elsewhere, feel free to move it there - wasn't quite sure where to post it]