Post by Xena on Mar 30, 2018 5:34:59 GMT -5
That's understandable. I'm not sure why some things stick either... mine is mostly a sieve. Except when it comes to self-preservation facts and tidbits that I pick up when researching. I can still remember my ex-husband's SSN number....and once I memorized an entire speech because I was so nervous that I didn't want to have to think about what to say in front of people.
Xena . I have simultaneously a near-encyclopedic as well as a sieve memory, lol. I remember nothing yet I can remember everything. I think it depends on my interest/attention: that ADHD bad attention and hyperattention thing. If something has come in through the latter, it will stick faster than super glue to the walls of my memory banks.
I noticed in arguments that I can't remember exactly what was said, it's like I'm an eternal paraphrasing machine. . Not much sticks anymore. I noticed with the last bout of depression, it was during a very intense conflict period in my life from a relationship, and I could almost feel my hippocampus shrinking before my eyes. Even now, I can't remember a spec of what I used to...and my working memory has greatly been affected. I noticed when I was playing with my son, I can't even remember sometimes who won a game of pool minutes after it happens.
I just feel kind of sad that I can't remember my life more. So I try to take a lot of pictures when I think something is really significant and I may want to remember it in the future. I want to be able to have a fondness for the life I lived, feel appreciation for having existed, etc.... but how can I do that if I really don't even remember much of a life lived?
Sometimes it feels like someone else was living my life... because my mom once showed me a picture when I was 18 at an amusement park with a bunch of people (half family / half acquaintances), and I can't remember any of that experience even if I try.
My dad told me he took a friend of mine and me out on a boat we used to have when I was around 15.... I can't remember ever doing that.
What I remember, if I remember at all, mostly is internal...not external.