MothGirl3.0

teatime , I'm NeFi as Alerith said  and resonate a lot with aspects of Ti and much in this new NeTi profile on the new site. I wonder if you have the same experience.


I resonate with this too ^^ Do you think being open to people's underlying motivations more than their delivery makes you kinda assume they are approaching you the same way? One way NeFi makes lots of sense to me is in this Fi-Te dynamic: explains a lot that a kind of immature argumentativeness would be an unsophisticated Te rather than secondary Ti

-I do wonder (while we are on the subject of MBTI NTPs actually being Deltas) if those infamous trollish ENTPs of MBTI may actually be NeFi's that were trying to be objective in a Te-sense but instead only coming out looking rude/trollish and as if "they love to disagree just to disagree". This accusation often just means the other parties don't value whatever facts the person 'arguing' is insisting on and the NeFi (possibly) in Te-grip can't help but dispute every off fact/bad argument that is presented even when it may be better just ignoring it.

I think insisting on objectivity can sometimes be seen as "loving to argue" and may be mistaken for two things: -Being too passionate even if the person arguing has zero emotional investment in the position they are arguing for: it's just TRUE and that's all they are saying; -Conversely, the same dynamic may be interpreted as trolling when it seems the person doesn't care that much about that issue in itself and is just insisting on certain facts and this may seem like "arguing just for the sake of it" to some.

Also resonates ^^ Part of why Type has been difficult is because of the need to "see it for myself" which makes understanding the Cognitive Functions a very slow process of augmented discovery. 

You could re-frame "excessive sensitivity" as "fine tuning", and revel in experiencing the world at a definition that others can't imagine

Happy to try and compose an answer

The first - acutely shy and awkward. Everything in the outer world, especially during childhood, seemed an overwhelm for me. I think it is due to a combination of sensory sensitivities (aka 'processing difficulties'; auditory and visual), ASD and emotion. I couldn't keep the world out! There were no such labels as HSP, I was just called shy. If I stayed alone in nature I experienced bliss. By contrast, the simple presence of another human felt anything from irritating to unsafe to exhausting to brutal. Because, I guess, the humans in my environment were too busy, too calloused, too intrusive, too broken, too loud or too cruel. Ha, when I went to school I felt torn to shreds.

It was perplexing for me though, why people behaved the way they did. I didn't understand the social rules in operation... I saw a lot of emotional dishonesty; duplicity. (Lack of self-consistency/integrity in others.) Yet I was also so gullible and undefended (didn't seem to have self-protection barriers). I would (and still do) take everything said at face value - I don't look for inter-personal deceit. Such deceit and power games don't exist in my world. Why on earth do people seek advantage over one another? So when I became the target of childhood persecution it not only pained me, it confused me. The sensory and emotional overwhelm would lead to a shut down. I would become numb and unable to respond. Consequently my tears would only come afterwards, when I had time to untangle everything. I did most of my crying alone, because my mother herself was helpless.

So, when I say I couldn't be vulnerable in my social environment I mean that I couldn't display emotion. Not merely because of external consequences, but due to internal paralysis. I still don't know how to feel and express emotions appropriately, in real time... but sometimes I mimic some of what I see people around me doing. It gets me by, but it feels fake. Fundamentally I've learned it's expected to say hello, goodbye and smile as widely as you can... to ask "how are you?" blah blah blah etc. Social scripts. But I still don't see the point of them, because I believe acknowledgment and respect and understanding (and communication, goddamn it!) are non-verbal.

I wonder how the other kids felt, having a toy that apparently didn't respond to their cruelty? Did they think I had no feelings? Did that make it all the more intriguing/challenging to attack me? Kind of like poking a dumb animal, except other animals aren't dumb, humans are. Because most other people's emotions are palpable I imagined Others must have been aware of the pain they caused, but now I realise they almost certainly weren't. Aren't people odd?

I still shutdown under stress... meaning for most of my life I've had no real-time emotional self-awareness. Apparently to fully realise Fi I need to somehow create the environment in which I can safely recognise, respond to my feelings, and act on them? For me, that's an environment free of other humans. Or some other relational state I haven't quite brought into my mind's eye yet.

No one can accurately quantify the measure of another's pain, but what happens with me sounds a little different from what you experience, qualitatively. I'm affected in a similar way, but instead of a clean emotional response, it causes a shutdown. What does Fi have, if anything, to do with shutdowns? No idea! Interesting note... what is guaranteed to bring out the tears is anyone showing compassion. Someone that makes a safe space or moment. A person's kindness is like a well-aimed rock. I've heard others say the same, but I have no idea as to their cognitive type.

For the record, I believe I'm neurodivergent (Aspie) and that could form a large part my experience/perception independent of CT. I don't know if I qualify as a 'clean' FiNe sample... I'd love to see a spectrum overlay on Cognitive Types.


Oh, oh, oh... while I think of it. There have been other things brought up in this thread and a few others I have seen that I would like to respond to, but I pretty much spend my communication budget on one post per day. So I'll have to stick around long enough to get to everything that interests me in my own slow way.

*2.5 hours since commencing, hits "Post Quick Reply"*

Oh, Authenticity, as much as a loathe to admit NeFi's maybe trolls, I must! But more in an unknowing and naive way. Not trolls like SeTi, who are much more calculated and know how to get under one's skin. The difference between Te and SeTi trollerly becomes obvious once one knows to look for it. And once you understand the *whys* behind both it's simply not bothersome anymore. To me, at least.

I, too, resonante a lot with the NeTi description, though I think Fi is more invested in its initial starting point. I also don't ask philosophical questions in the same they do. But I am more mad inventor than scientist and definitley anti-establishment. Same struggle with Te as they have with Fe. We both see the limitations of Ji's polar. 

LAstly, I didn't know Salman is your brother. He is so sweet!



Mothgirl, and a secret labyrinth beneath the castle?

I also loathe lack of self consistency. I get that we can't 100% consistent with beliefs -> actions, but what's hard to me accept is the inconsistency between beliefs! I 100% relate to shutting down. I process my emotions best in private, being too overwhelmed (Fi) or underwhelmed (Ne, being indirect) in the moment. 

You've also showed a side that reveals the difference between FiNe and NeFi. I, too, felt shy and vulnerable, but exposing my vulnerabilities would have been the death of me. I say that socially I'm a bit of a black sheep in a china shop. Fi being the china, I suppose. 

Oops! lol!

Awesome, I'm an Aspie shade FiNe! Woohoo!

Though I don't think I present quite like Salman. He's got his own style going on there!

Thanks for linking that thread, Authenticity.

Sounds like the world needs him.

May I ask why you have become Authenticity(2)? Did something happen to your account?

Hey, it's no biggie. I thought your comment was sweet. Hope that did not come across harsher than I meant it.