Seeking Confirmation of My Type

I am quite melodramatic and “broken” in private. I don’t like to show that side of me publicly. But as far as the basic fears/motivations go, I do fear not being original enough to be loved/respected - that being unique is the only way I can matter. Eep—- but I reeealy do hate saying as much so plainly 😳

At best, I could be convinced that I am 541, and I even considered as much when I first learned about the enneagram.

As for type 1 - yes integrity and virtue is important to me, but I do not fear being corrupt. Morality is largely subjective imo and it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I turned into an evil mastermind - not in the way having no unique identity or no vast stores of knowledge for preparation would. I don’t get the same rush of anxiety about the 1 fear as I do 4 or 5.

ETA - at this point though, I think I am so lost about who or what I am that I’m open to further opinions about the enneagram. I am kinda freaking out here a bit in this increasingly indentity-less territory though! Lol!

I recently came across the 20-Subtype Groupings thread and looked at the descriptions for Fi+Te (as Joseph suggested for my type) and for Fi+Ni (as laughter and ash suggested).

The Fi+Te description is nothing like me at all:

I am embarrassingly unconcerned with politics. 

The Fi+Ni description is somewhat like me: 

I sometimes struggle with living in the moment, so if I am FiSe, this is the most likely subtype. However, I'm not especially into the abstract or heavy philosophy. My favorite art is Biedermeier, Romantic, and Impressionist. I like art that's a little stylized and whimsical, but nothing too weird or symbolic.

The part about animism and expanding our awareness about what is alive is definitely me though. I don't think I am hypnotic or abstract enough to really be an Ni-dom. I don't have hypnotic eyes, IMO. But perhaps if FiSe-Ni is a happy middle ground for appreciation of the concrete with just a hint of philosophy and whimsy, then maybe that's me?

Anyway, just adding this here to maybe help with anyone still trying to type me. I know I'm ultimately going to have to wait until official typing submissions are open again.

I watched again and now I'm going for FiSe.

I saw more the Ji rigid posture and exerted pushes that laughter mentioned.
IT's a bit confusing because I also see a lot of the Pi-inertia ash was talking about

And also thanks Kahawa for the gifs showing the snippiness, I agree with Te/Fi now.
About the voice, there could be a mix of slight monotone and affected tone.

About the eyes though I see what you mean about the toggle and slight slanted edges, but my impression stays more on Ni/Se
I think the eye movements are more like described for Se in: cognitivetype.com/2018/01/28/se-4-eye-head-parallel-motion/ in the section "Crossover with J-lead & P-lead Vultology"

Yes, from my pov you could very well be SiTe
- P-lead: at the beginning of the first video, you look like you hold yourself in rigid posture, but at other times there is quite a bit of inertia and body sways
- Si: I find it difficult to identify Si, but maybe it's because you have naturally large eyes and your scowls are not very pronounced

Also when you said this, it really made me thing of SiTe: