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NeTi with NeFi

I can say that I have had a very rocky relationship with my NeFi mother. When I (NeTi) was little I loved how she read to me and encouraged my little forays. She joined the SCA with me and listened to my long stories and rants about anything. She had bitter Fi and that always confused me. As I got older I felt like she was irrational and over-critical. The way that she talked seemed really harsh to me (Te). She would project her bitter Fi on people and then articulate EXACTLY what she felt - It really frustrated me that she seemingly made everything negative. She also was a bit of a pack rat, as was I - but then we had a couple bug infestations and I got really resentful. I didn't know why she was so irrational and overemotional (Fi) and I really disliked how she talked in such absolute terms (Te) she seemed to have no diplomacy at all (Fe).

She was so much like me it bothered me (Ne, Si) because I was like "I don't want to be that!". I felt like I had to dance around what I said to her (Fe) and I also felt like she was helicoptering me and not trusting me. I was fiercly independant (Ne Ti) and her hands-on style and what I saw as paranoid emotional logic when reading people (Ne Fi) drove me crazy. Finally we had a big blowup and I basically freaked the f*ck out on her. I called out everything she'd done that I hated and explained why I hated her and everything about living with her . We then didn't talk for like 3 months and I lived with my dad (they're divorced). Eventually we made up and although I still don't live with her, I love her with all my heart (sounds cheesy I know ). She has been getting more spiritual and has made improvements in her life. She is a happier person, but she still believes that she is and will forever be fundamentally unhappy It's really hard on me, and I am constantly trying to help her and fix it. She cut herself off from her family so my sister and I are pretty much all the family she has. My sister is not as sharp about these things (I guess is one way to put it) so I feel like I'm the only one capable of helping her. She is a truly great person and now I am discovering more and more how wonderful she is. I just want to help her realize that too.

NeTi with SiTe

My dad oh boy. We've always had a special bond. I don't remember what it was like before my parents got divorced (I was like 4), nor do I remember what the next few years were like. He went through this New Age phase and I remember I thought that was beyond rediculous at the time. He started getting better at showing affection after that I think. In any case, I remember playing with him when I was little, and going to the park and eating ice-cream. He has a softness about him (Ne, Fi) and I always found that endearing. I would sometimes play him and I very often got away with it. I was a sort of Devil child as his girlfriend always said If I wanted something, I would most often make it happen. It took a while before I learned my Fe lesson. I faked sick all the time to play video games and get out of school. I knew that my mom was way more likely to believe me and that my dad wasn't unless I did a few things that made it believable to him. My dad is a pretty good listener and my favorite thing about interacting with him is that I can say pretty much anything and don't need to worry about dancing around his feelings. He gets that its not personal and he is fantastic at taking criticism. The most frustrating thing about him is his bad memory (pretty much forgets everything unless it is of immediate importance to him) and his stubbornness. He is so stubborn it's rediculous. We had a month long argument about moving a decorative bowl I thought was ugly from the table. He eventually "won" -of course- by getting the opinion of a interior designer he was dating of course and that bowl still sits there today, god damn it. I love him though and I love his unconditional love and simplicity. I also love his rationality and willingness to go along with the random things I try to get him to do with me. (e.g. musical conversations where we agree on a chord progression and then play it at the same time with guitar and ukulele and sing our conversations)


EDIT: Woah that was long, sorry about that